Numbered.

My grains are numbered.  I know not how long I will be blessed with life on this beautiful Earth, and only the Lord knows when the sand of my hourglass will cease to flow. But recently I have been extremely convicted of making each day, each moment count. And not just count for me. Count for Him and His Kingdom. I cannot say that I have succeeded in living this out. That’s probably why the conviction lingers on.

Being honest, I really do not like this feeling of conviction. I would much rather subscribe to a relaxed, fun centered  view of life compared to the radical and uncomfortable  life that Christ is calling me and all of His disciples to live. So often I find myself in awe of Him and the great sacrifice that He has made for ALL people, myself included. But it lasts only momentarily until some other fleeting Earthly thing grabs my affection. This is an affliction. I am not okay with this. But what do I do? When I start asking the question the rich man asked of Jesus, “How do I get to Heaven” I am still met with the same response that he was met with “Sell everything and follow Me.” That’s some heavy stuff. I call myself a “little Christ” but does my life truly reflect that? I think not. Christ dined with the corrupt, and laid hands on the lepers. He stood up for the prostitutes and those who lived lives full of shame. He invited the rejected into His everlasting Kingdom. And I cant even find it in me to ask a lonely aquaintance to eat with me. There went a grain, wasted.

I know that my Jesus extends grace and mercy to sinners. That much is evident by His words AND His actions. But I am done making an excuse for myself out of His forgiveness. I am ready to make my numbered grains count for something. This is my journey.