Would I settle for beef jerky when I could have steak? As of right now, I have not had steak in over 2 months, so beef jerky is the closest thing that I can get to steak around this place, but that's not the point...The meaning of this goes a wee bit deeper than the cravings of my stomach, to the cravings of my heart. Will I settle for a boy, when I could have a MAN of God? That's where the beef jerky comes in...the beef jerky is the boy, and the steak is a man, but I guess you could've figured that out. The steak takes longer, but don't all good things take time? I wish that I could take credit for this analogy, but I can't. My sweet house church leader from Ethos had the opportunity to attend a girls of grace conference where Chris Wheeler (okay I forgot his name...I think that's it but Google's failing me! but he has really crazy hair, and talked to my home church about adoption... and forever stole my heart when he called his wife a Guatemama because they had adopted a precious Guatemalan daughter!) spoke and he coined this analogy. Now that I have given due credit to the unnamed man, I'll continue with his wise words. A boy is selfish, a man is courageous. Whoa. Sometimes I don't realize the settling that I commit until someone calls me out on it. How often have I settled? He also called us out on the topic of possession. I do not belong to anyone, not even to myself. I have been bought by the blood of Christ, and I belong to Him, no one else.
Since being at Lipscomb, I have really been challenged by relationships. No mom, I don't have a boyfriend, hear me out! (; It's like swimming in a whole new sea, filled with different fish. And as I look around sometimes I find myself wondering if one of those fish is my future husband. I am entering into the season where marriage is a more realistic thing. These relationships have the potential to last unlike the fickle high school relationships which often burn out with one strong gust of wind. Just as much, well nearly just as much, as I find myself wondering about marriage, I wonder about the absence of it. And I am challenged by 1st Corinthians 7 in which Paul encourages those who are single to remain so. I looked these verses in my study Bible with the extensive commentary (this thing's a brick!) and apparently, it relates more to the state of present affairs at the time of authorship, in specific the intense persecutions of the Christians, but I wonder what Paul would say about today's culture. Would he classify us in a crisis state? Is it wrong of me to write off this passage as being simply historical, and inapplicable to 2011?
The more and more that I think about these things, I am beginning to embrace the idea of singleness and the immense amount of freedom that offers. Singleness offers me the opportunity to move as God calls, and the opportunity for me to do as I please. As I write this, I am listening to one of the girls down the hall talk to her boyfriend concerned about a wall post on Facebook by another girl...point made.
But I am still faced with a sense of immaturity in myself. I see that in my inability to imagine how God could work radically through a married couple...take that back. I have seen marriages in which God is not only the foundation but an vital element, but I can't imagine MYSELF in that situation. I still have too many independent woman wild oats to sow. And while I desire to have high standards for a godly man, my primary concern needs to be becoming the godly woman the Lord has called me to be, to be so focused on him that I am oblivious to earthly pursuits of boys. I need to make sure that I do not have double standards, and I am living the life of a godly woman who deserves a godly man. I'm not there yet. Some days I am successful in my pursuit of womanhood, and other days I regress into a little girl. It's a process. I'm a process, and thankfully God know's what he is doing.
p.s. I am so thankful for God's words of wisdom in Proverbs 31 which gives a picture of a godly woman :)
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